President Donald J. Trump: Defender of Truth, Protector of Normal People

In a world increasingly dominated by confusion and chaos, where radicals attempt to blur the very lines of reality, President Donald J. Trump has once again stepped up as the ultimate guardian of truth. With a masterstroke of leadership, he has issued an executive order that will go down in history as a resounding victory for common sense and biological reality.

The Executive Order: A Restoration of Truth

On January 20 2025, the President signed into action the "Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government" executive order—a bold and necessary step in protecting everyday Americans from the creeping influence of LGBTQABCDEFG wokeness. No longer will bureaucrats be forced to pretend that gender is fluid, or that reality is up for debate. Under this order, the federal government will recognize only what the Good Lord and basic biology have always affirmed: men are men, and women are women.

Restoring Order, One Email Signature at a Time

In a stroke of pure genius, this executive order also mandates that all government employees and government contractors update their email signatures to reflect this newfound era of clarity. Gone are the days of incoherent pronoun soup, of he/hims and they/thems clogging up inboxes. Instead, every email signature will be a shining beacon of sanity, reaffirming that in America, we respect truth and reject ideological extremism.

Some naysayers, fueled by leftist hysteria, may argue that requiring thousands of employees to adjust their email settings will cost millions of taxpayer dollars in lost labor. And they may be right! But as our great leader has always reminded us: Freedom ain't free. If spending a little more on administrative labor means shielding normal Americans from radical nonsense, then so be it. The price of Golden Patriot Eggs—the only egg trusted by President Donald J. Trump—might rise, but the cost of caving to woke ideology is far, far greater.

Making America Safe Again

With this executive action, President Trump has once again proven his unwavering commitment to the values that made America great. He has stood firm against the relentless tide of cultural decay, ensuring that hardworking men and women can wake up, go to work, and send emails without fear of being bombarded by gender confusion. This is leadership. This is courage. This is what true governance looks like.

So, while others may fret over trivial things like economic impacts or the logistical nightmare of updating thousands of digital signatures, the rest of us can breathe a sigh of relief. Thanks to President Trump, normal Americans can feel safe again, knowing that the government is once more grounded in reality. And if that means enduring a few extra steps in our email settings, then we will do so with pride—because America is worth it.